I swear he speaks a little English

Dog jumps in my lap while I’m at my desk
Me: Harper! You’re the best dog.
Dog starts to put paws on desk, moving papers, hitting keyboard
Me: Hey, knock it off. I’m trying to work here. Gotta pay for all the toys you immediately destroy.
Dog sits up, gives kisses.
Me: I love you, too, buddy. But do you like your fancy raw diet or do you want to go back to eating Science Diet like at the shelter?
Dog lays down and curls up for a nap, out of the way,.

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