All I intend to say on the internet about politics for the moment

You know how you love or hate some celebrities? For no good reason? Scarlett Johannson is this person for me. And when I saw her speech at the DNC it made me like her even less.

I speak to you not as a representative of young Hollywood, but as a representative of the many millions of young Americans, particularly young women, who depend on public and nonprofit programs to help them survive

Okay, ScarJo. Except I’m not sure how you’re a “representative” of Americans who depend on public or nonprofits to survive since you get paid millions of dollars to make movies. But that’s not what really irritated me.

When I was a little girl, my mother—a registered Democrat—would take me into the polling booth, and tell me which buttons to press and when to pull the lever. Is that even legal? I remember the excitement I felt in that secret box, and feeling like my mom’s vote wasn’t just about the candidate, it was about our family—and all the families just like ours.

This last election, I finally got to punch those buttons for me, for real. I wore my “I voted” pin the whole day.

Per the internet, this lady is 27 years old. The idea that she “finally” got to vote in “this last election” is ridiculous. You guys know we vote for stuff other than who the president is, right? That we also get to vote for U.S. senators and congressmen, state legislators, city council members and school board members, mayors and governors, judges, oh, and also laws? And that we vote more frequently than every four years? Homegirl lives in New York; there are three opportunities to vote in 2012 alone. I mean, you’ve at least heard of the midterms, right?

The obsession with Presidential politics drives me bonkers. The President of the United States does a small percentage of the governing that affects your day to day life, but the campaign gets 90% of our collective political attention.

More than voting for a president, and really more than voting for any person, I like to vote for laws. Because laws have predictable behavior. Laws don’t end up having to resign because they’re banging an intern, and laws aren’t swayed by campaign donations or by lobbyists. Laws don’t get bogged down by gridlock in congress. Laws don’t seem really cool and nice at first but then end up supporting a moronic camping ban. They’re just laws. Once you vote for them, you pretty much know exactly how they will behave and we can, with large success, predict how they will affect us.

Which is all basically to say this:

One, you (we all) should stop obsessing over the minutiae of the presidential campaign.

Two, if you live in Denver, you should vote Yes on 2A because instead of kissing babies or releasing tax returns or brewing beer or fudging a marathon finishing time, instead of squabbling over who built what, instead of promising to do something to improve our roads, police force, and libraries, 2A will actually just improve our roads, police force, and libraries. (Without raising taxes. Magic!)

Screen Shot 2012 09 30 at 8 45 11 PM

It means if Denver has extra money collected from property taxes (and right now we do) instead of having to give it back, we can spend it to patch the crumbly holes in our city government left by the decrease in revenue from when the economy tanked. It restores services we lost from the recession.

And three, Scarlett Johannson is annoying.



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5 thoughts on “All I intend to say on the internet about politics for the moment

    • Purty annoying.

      I’m sure she’s a lovely person and I certainly wish I had better things to do with my time than be irritated by actresses but c’est la vie.

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